just random

The whole weekend was just weird. I read, day dreamed, and spent alot of my time at the sci fi convention up at the workplace. I guess I need to explain....every year my workplace hosts a science fiction conference. This year one of the guests was a guy who worked as an assistant director for a sci fi show with a huge fan base. He also made some of his own films. It was fun to listen to him and watch his films. It was cool to bounce ideas off of him.
One of his comments to me was...."You seem to be the brains of the operation....so why aren't you making your own film?"  He also told me I was very resourceful.

I know my dream of getting a film in a regional festival or even into SXSW is still a possibility despite all of the challenges I would have. I am just not sure I'll have the energy or drive to do it. This isn't the first time someone has told me believe in me. The question is...why does everyone think I am worth believing in when it comes to this sort of thing. Why don't I believe in myself?

Handing over the stuff for him to watch was mentally and physically exhausting. I don't know why. I think I just had a hard week physically because I put in a couple of ten hour days in a row. I have to remember that I can't do that anymore no matter how far behind I am at work.

I have other thoughts and things but I best keep them private or file them away.

I was also a little lonely this weekend but that's okay. Sometimes I need to be that way to remind me of the love I have in my life. 

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