5 posts tagged “cancer”

I am already falling behind in entries for NaBloPoMo. I did figure out how to backdate entries so that's what I will be doing till I catch up.

I haven't felt well in the past two days because my left leg has swelled up to twice it's size. My right leg is also swollen. My doc wasn't in at that the VooDoo Village so I had to see someone different.(I have always called the doctor's complex the VooDoo Village because it looks like a bunch of tribal huts with shingles on them)
 I hate doing that  because I have to explain my whole pathology and diagnosis. I get tired of it. You would think the hypochondriac in me would love it but I just want the doc to figure out what the problem is. So this doc thought that my swelling was related to the cancer, ordered blood tests, and prescribed a diuretic. I am hoping the diuretic will drain it and that this will go away.

I am so tired of having something wrong with me. My leg hurts and every minute I wonder if I have a blood clot. My back is also hurting because I think I did too much yesterday. Maybe my lymph nodes decided enough is enough and decided to clog up. I have canckles.Or maybe I have gout. My leg just looks gross and to top it off I can't reach down far enough to shave the last bits of hair around my ankles. I am so uncomfortable with this.

 Let's hope this situation calms down because I have stuff to do tomorrow. I have to set my son up to videotape something and I have to judge the Turkey Drop at school. Our college radio station as an homage to WKRP in Cincinnati holds an annual 'Turkey' drop where campus organizations fashion 'turkeys' that are dropped from a dorm fire escape. There are categories for the longest hang time, best dressed, best splat, and most accurate. I do love me some turkey drop. I am not so in love with trying to videotape all of this poetry tomorrow. I've been out sick for most of the semester but I will manage to do some taping for the poets. It's amazing how things like that work out.

I did see my dog today so that was a good thing.  I will report back on the Turkey Drop tomorrow if I don't throw a clot and die.

Insomnia and Irons don't Mix

Some of the things that happened to me today are examples of why I should not return to work at this moment. I drop things, I hurt myself, and I am a whiny, bitchy person.

I had a rough night because my hip hurt me and nothing would comfort me. I tried different positions, different drugs, different distractions but nothing made the pain fade. I was tired in the morning but decided to try to stay up during the day so I wouldn't take a seven hour long nap to make up for the sleep I lost. I would say I was somewhat sleep deprived.

The morning began auspiciously when I knocked over the ironing board with a clean white shirt on it. The hot iron was also on it so I narrowly missed melting my body cast permanently to my chest. I also managed to knock down a great deal of clean laundry that was hanging up downstairs.

After this I managed to dump the TiVo remote in the garbage and I couldn't get it out with my reacher so I strained my back trying to bend far enough to get it out. This happened after I knocked the phone off the night stand in the bedroom. The rechargeable batteries are now scattered somewhere underneath my bed probably never to be found again.

Then I tried to take the garbage out and the garbage bin dumped over in a large gust of wind. It traveled to the curb before I could even get a hold of it. This hurt my back even more because I am not suppose to pull or lift anything larger than four pounds.

I also had to drive today. I had some issues pulling myself up into the truck and it hurt my back. There was also some pulling on my side incision which was weird. It started to bleed and that frightened me. It never did that before.  For those of you keeping score, clumsy and hurting, complaining, and whining, bleeding, and frightened. Not a good day for me.

 
I am wondering what sort of grey gunk is in my dryer because all of the lighter clothes are covered in sticky grey gunk. Luckily these aren't really work clothes. They are  just some clothes that fit over my brace.

I am not the most graceful person nor the most coordinated but today I just felt like there was nothing I could do physically other than try to use the remote correctly. Maybe it was Candid Camera Day in my house.

I will try again tomorrow and hope for a better day.

I need to write some media stories....maybe about Brian Williams hosting Sat Nite Live which sort of sucked because of the lame writing but I did enjoy the digital short and the surprise Obama appearance. Or the writers strike..... what it means to you. Or about this crazy book I am reading.

 
I need to get out of my own head since that has been where I have been living for the past three months. Perhaps my brain needs to air out of something. That's all I need more holes in my head.

Insomnia (again) SIGH

I had another rough night. I didn't take a nap yesterday. I exercised. I didn't drink any caffeine after 2PM. I swallowed a whole bunch of assorted drugs for the pain (not that many, really) and I still stayed up the whole night watching episodes of 'The Next Iron Chef' and 'Dirty Jobs' with Mike Rowe. I spent some time on my writing project but nothing significant. I also wrote a bad poem but what else is new?

No sleep has always inspired bad poetry and writing. No sleep has been a common theme since the summer. This has happened to me a few times since the injury/illness in July. The first night was in the hospital when I stayed up to try to finish the new Harry Potter book. I was about five days post surgery and my sister had just gone home.  I was engrossed  with the story and was determined to finish so someone else could enjoy the book. It was a very heavy book. The nurses were making fun of me because I had a four pound lifting restriction. I think that book weighed more than four pounds. I tried not keep my light on so I wouldn't bother my roommate but she seemed to be up most of the night because the phlebotomy people kept trying to draw blood from her with no results. She was about seventy and weighed about 80 pounds. Her arms were marked with large black spots from the previous efforts.

When the third phlebotomy person came in for a try I pleaded with her through the curtain to tell my roommate a story and not elaborate on the process of obtaining the blood. She talked about the stray dog her husband found and she got the blood she needed for my roommate's tests. Then it was my turn.  Most of the time blood is gathered early in the morning before breakfast so that when the doctors round on the surgical floor they have something to talk about. She used the same technique with me because she looked at the bruises on the back of my hand and in the crease of my arms.

The next time I had insomnia I had a different roommate and it was during the time of the Crandall Canyon Mine Disaster on August 16th. This was the night the rescuers were killed.  I watched Fox and Headline News through the night because the hospital didn't have CNN. This sucked because I wasn't sure I was getting the most current information so I had to stick with Fox for fresh news. The sunrise over Sioux City was pretty. My view from the surgical ward was stunning except that I couldn't enjoy it most of the time because I was stoned out of my mind on Diluad. This is a narcotic drug for serious pain that causes hallucinations. While on Dilaud I kept thinking if this is the sort of drug Hunter S. Thompson took no wonder he was in so much pain all the time. He was also crazy but in a good writerly way.

The next day everyone told me how worn out I looked. I didn't even get a chance to nap because all of the therapy people needed to evaluate me that day to see if I could go to rehab. I did go to sleep early the next night for a continuous eight hours.

I think the last time I stayed up all night at home it was because of pain. Sometimes there is no where to go with it. So I sit up and read or watch TV. TV usually lulls me to sleep. Reading is more active and exciting so it isn't the best thing to do when I am trying to relax and sleep.

Last night I had pain in my hip that nothing touched. It was uncomfortable and painful at the same time. I couldn't position myself to get comfortable or quiet my mind. I wanted to wear myself out so danced around my living room and walked around outside my house in the dark. My hip hurt but I was determined to wear myself out. I sat and watched a movie. I didn't fall asleep. The dawn came with the wind. Here I am typing away on next entry for NaBloPoMo while the trees swish and my windows shake gently with the breeze.

I'm cheating a bit today....cause I don't feel so creative. I've been writing some other stuff and that's been taking up some of my time.

Top Five Ways to Lose Weight the MediaTeacher Way

5.  Count Calories
4.  Break your Back
3.  Get Cancer
2.  Spend most of the summer in the hospital.
1.  Eat your meals while watching 'Dirty Jobs'

Top Five Things Kids Say When They See My Brace

5. Mommy, look at the white M & M
4. What happened to her Wonder Woman Costume?
3. Mommy, it's not Halloween today so why is she wearing a costume.
2. Mommy, where's my shield and sword someone wants to play with me.
1. Mommy, Mommy....I'm scared.

Top Five Things Adults Say When They See My Brace

5. You'll be out of that in no time.
4. Why didn't your hair fall out from the radiation therapy?
3. Now can you explain that again, broken back and then cancer or cancer then broken back?
2. You look so rested and relaxed.
1. Can you come back to work in that thing?

Top Five Rudest Things People Have Said to Me Since I've Been Sick/injured

5. Are you sure you have cancer? Your hair didn't fall out.
4. Did you get a second opinion? Your doctor can't be good if they are from here.
3. Do you really need this much time off? When I was sick I went right back to work.
2. You look great! Did you get a tummy tuck and face lift while you were in the hospital?
1. Are you wearing any underwear under that thing?

TSOL Brace

Recovery is a full time job.

After people get over the shock of my sudden injury and the consequential illness the next question they ask is when I will go back to work. My answer is "I don't know, we'll have to see how I am doing"

Injuries that have to heal...hip, back, incisions.

I have to recover from the injury which is specifically a broken back vertebrae L2. I had had three repair surgeries which involved the removal of bone from L2 to T11. Those bones were replaced with cadaver bone, my bone, and a titanium appliance made up of rods screws, and mesh which supports all of it. Keep in mind there are 5 lumbar spine parts which hold up most of the weight of the body and there are twelve thoracic bones. The thoracic parts aren't very mobile because they are hooked to the ribs and protect the spinal cord connections and nerves.

The first surgery I had on July 10th failed because the mesh from the appliance was resting on the screws and not the bone. They did the second and third surgeries to secure my spine. I didn't have much bone to attach anything to so they harvested some from the top of my left hip. They also took bone marrow samples at that time. So in addition to the back surgery my left hip is irritated and injured because of the bone marrow sampling and bone harvesting. When they harvest marrow they use a drill and when they harvest they use a tool that looks like a Dremel that shaves part of the iliac crest or top part of your hip. Orthopedic pain or having to do with a bones is different than muscle or incision pain.

I was also in bed for three weeks. Bedrest is how an injury like this heals but it does some bad things for your body. I have lost muscle in my hips and thighs that I need to walk with the brace. I use a walker, hopefully I will use a cane soon and then eventually walk on my own again. This process should take about a month.

If you've read this far you now know my back and hip hurt like mofos. I also have some incision irritation. I have two incisions. One small eight inch incision on my left side and eighteen inch incision down the middle of my back to my butt. The larger one is constant contact with whatever I am wearing and that's made worse by the brace I have to wear.
I wear a TLSO brace or Thoraco-Lumbo-Sacral-Orthosis brace that fits close to my body. I must wear it every minute I am supporting any weight on my spine. It is stiff, unyielding and uncomfortable. It's also fairly ugly. I must wear it for 90 days.