2 posts tagged “insomnia”
Insomnia and Irons don't Mix
Some of the things that happened to me today are examples of why I should not return to work at this moment. I drop things, I hurt myself, and I am a whiny, bitchy person.
I had a rough night because my hip hurt me and nothing would comfort me. I tried different positions, different drugs, different distractions but nothing made the pain fade. I was tired in the morning but decided to try to stay up during the day so I wouldn't take a seven hour long nap to make up for the sleep I lost. I would say I was somewhat sleep deprived.
The morning began auspiciously when I knocked over the ironing board with a clean white shirt on it. The hot iron was also on it so I narrowly missed melting my body cast permanently to my chest. I also managed to knock down a great deal of clean laundry that was hanging up downstairs.
After this I managed to dump the TiVo remote in the garbage and I couldn't get it out with my reacher so I strained my back trying to bend far enough to get it out. This happened after I knocked the phone off the night stand in the bedroom. The rechargeable batteries are now scattered somewhere underneath my bed probably never to be found again.
Then I tried to take the garbage out and the garbage bin dumped over in a large gust of wind. It traveled to the curb before I could even get a hold of it. This hurt my back even more because I am not suppose to pull or lift anything larger than four pounds.
I also had to drive today. I had some issues pulling myself
up into the truck and it hurt my back. There was also some pulling on my side incision which was weird. It started to bleed and that frightened me. It never did that before. For those of you keeping score, clumsy and
hurting, complaining, and whining, bleeding, and frightened. Not a good day for me.
I am wondering what sort of grey gunk is in my dryer because
all of the lighter clothes are covered in sticky grey gunk. Luckily these aren't
really work clothes. They are just some clothes
that fit over my brace.
I am not the most graceful person nor the most coordinated but
today I just felt like there was nothing I could do physically other than try to
use the remote correctly. Maybe it was Candid Camera Day in my house.
I will try again tomorrow and hope for a better day.
I need to write some media stories....maybe about Brian
Williams hosting Sat Nite Live which sort of sucked because of the lame writing
but I did enjoy the digital short and the surprise Obama appearance. Or the
writers strike..... what it means to you. Or about this crazy book I am reading.
I need to get out of my own head since that has been where I
have been living for the past three months. Perhaps my brain needs to air out
of something. That's all I need more holes in my head.
Insomnia (again) SIGH
I had another rough night. I didn't take a nap yesterday. I exercised. I didn't drink any caffeine after 2PM. I swallowed a whole bunch of assorted drugs for the pain (not that many, really) and I still stayed up the whole night watching episodes of 'The Next Iron Chef' and 'Dirty Jobs' with Mike Rowe. I spent some time on my writing project but nothing significant. I also wrote a bad poem but what else is new?
No sleep has always inspired bad poetry and writing. No sleep has been a common theme since the summer. This has happened to me a few times since the injury/illness in July. The first night was in the hospital when I stayed up to try to finish the new Harry Potter book. I was about five days post surgery and my sister had just gone home. I was engrossed with the story and was determined to finish so someone else could enjoy the book. It was a very heavy book. The nurses were making fun of me because I had a four pound lifting restriction. I think that book weighed more than four pounds. I tried not keep my light on so I wouldn't bother my roommate but she seemed to be up most of the night because the phlebotomy people kept trying to draw blood from her with no results. She was about seventy and weighed about 80 pounds. Her arms were marked with large black spots from the previous efforts.
When the third phlebotomy person came in for a try I pleaded with her through the curtain to tell my roommate a story and not elaborate on the process of obtaining the blood. She talked about the stray dog her husband found and she got the blood she needed for my roommate's tests. Then it was my turn. Most of the time blood is gathered early in the morning before breakfast so that when the doctors round on the surgical floor they have something to talk about. She used the same technique with me because she looked at the bruises on the back of my hand and in the crease of my arms.
The next time I had insomnia I had a different roommate and
it was during the time of the Crandall Canyon Mine Disaster on August 16th. This was the night the rescuers were killed. I
watched Fox and Headline News through the night because the hospital didn't
have CNN. This sucked because I wasn't sure I was getting the most current
information so I had to stick with Fox for fresh news. The sunrise over Sioux
City was pretty. My view from the surgical ward was stunning except that I
couldn't enjoy it most of the time because I was stoned out of my mind on
Diluad. This is a narcotic drug for serious pain that causes hallucinations.
While on Dilaud I kept thinking if this is the sort of drug Hunter S. Thompson
took no wonder he was in so much pain all the time. He was also crazy but in a good writerly way.
The next day everyone told me how worn out I looked. I didn't even get a chance to nap because all of the therapy people needed to evaluate me that day to see if I could go to rehab. I did go to sleep early the next night for a continuous eight hours.
I think the last time I stayed up all night at home it was because of pain. Sometimes there is no where to go with it. So I sit up and read or watch TV. TV usually lulls me to sleep. Reading is more active and exciting so it isn't the best thing to do when I am trying to relax and sleep.
Last night I had pain in my hip that nothing touched. It was uncomfortable and painful at the same time. I couldn't position myself to get comfortable or quiet my mind. I wanted to wear myself out so danced around my living room and walked around outside my house in the dark. My hip hurt but I was determined to wear myself out. I sat and watched a movie. I didn't fall asleep. The dawn came with the wind. Here I am typing away on next entry for NaBloPoMo while the trees swish and my windows shake gently with the breeze.
